Unforgiven Justice
by IchigoxKurosawa
Summary: When Sasuke kicks Naruto out, he almost dies until he is found by someone. He befriends his savior and all his friends but something's wrong. It seems his inner demon has problems with this. ItaNaru
1. Kapitel Eins

Naruto knew they were coming, it was only a matter of time. He sighed, looking around anxiously at the snow covered rooftops of Konoha no Kuni. 'No one would ever even notice...', he told himself as he walked forward, rubbing his arms in a vain attempt to warm himself in the extremely cold winter weather of the Fire country. He had been kicked out of Sasuke's apartment with nothing but a t-shirt, shorts, and his bare feet. "Effing prick..." he said bitterly, more to the air than anyone else. Eventually, he stepped on ice and slid, falling back and onto his head, hitting it rather hard.

Naruto groaned, rubbing his head when he heard a large crack underneathe him. His eyes widened as he tried to stand up, but a sharp pain shot up through his leg, making him hiss in pain. He looked at his leg and found the bone protruding from his flesh, blood gushing into a pool around him. "When the hell'd that happen!?" He went to push himself up but the ice fell beneathe him, hand hitting water colder than anything he'd ever felt. "Shit!" He sucked in oxygen as he fell through the ice, water so cold it made his limbs heavy quickly. The water seemed to calm him even though he knew he would die. He smiled softly at the thought of a freedom from the hell they called 'Earth'. He was about to drift off to the black void when he saw the shadow of a figure reaching into the water. His eyes closed as he smile grew, drifiting into the black void called unconsciousness.

"He fell into the water... yes, through the ice..." Naruto listened to the smooth voice talking rather quietly. He kept his eyes closed, mostly from the weird feeling that crawled through the veins of his body. He was in a bed, the blankets wrapped tightly around his body and the room was warm. He sighed contently and snuggled into the covers, before it dawned on him that he was last in the forest, drowning in freezing water. He shot up, looking around him at the room.

"Well, you wanted the Kyuubi, ne?" Naruto cringed, remembering that was why Sasuke threw him out. He sighed and looked at his hands, tears forming at his eyes. He had been so sadistic about it, laughing as he threw the nin out. "Too fucking bad." Naruto blinked, looking at the door as a man with blonde hair walked in, hair tied back and bangs covering one eye. He blinked but smiled at Naruto.

"Well, it seems as though you're awake." Naruto blinked but nodded. The man's (or was it woman?) green eye scared him slightly. "Are you hungry? I could make soup or ramen or-." Naruto's expression brightened at the mention of ramen. The man blinked but laughed, smiling at Naruto again. "Well, I'll make you some ramen. I'm Deidara. Who're you?"

"Ah, I'm Naruto!" Deidara laughed again, nodded, and walked off, his hair swaying slightly but Naruto still couldn't see his other eye. And, thus, he was left alone in the room again, leaving him to brood over the loss of his best friend, rival, and lover. He curled up into a ball on the bed, never once noticing someone walked in until they spoke.

"If he had really loved you, he would've accepted you." Naruto looked up at a man who had long black hair that had slowly slipped off his shoulder, dark onyx eyes, unnaturally pale skin, and two marks on his face, one under each eye that trailed to the bottom of his nose. The man stood straight up again and pulled his back into a low ponytail, which only added to his sexy charm. "My brother can be so stubborn, the brat. He never takes what he has for granted." He looked to Naruto, who looked lost. He rolled his eyes and held his hand out to Naruto. "I'm Itachi, Sasuke's older brother."

Naruto looked at his hand for a moment like it was an alien. "Wha... what am I supposed to do?" Itachi blinked, pulling his arm back to his side. "You really don't interact with people much, do you? You're supposed to shake my hand and say your name. Care to try again?" Naruto shook his head no, trembling softly. Itachi blinked but nodded, stretching his arms above his head until three pops were heard. Naruto blinked. "What was that popping?"

"Me moving vertebrae back into place. Hurts like hell." Naruto gave him a slightly disturbed look. "What!?" Naruto blinked. "So, why do you do that?" Itachi blinked, but laughed like it was the most hilarious thing he'd ever heard. "What? Did I really say something that funny?"

"Huh? No, just not used to people asking me 'why' I do it. Actually, it runs in the family, the damned genes. Sasuke will hafta learn to do it about two years, give or take a few months." Naruto groaned, holding his stomach. "That time of the month?"

"Shut up. I'm not a freakin' girl." Itachi snorted. "Really? I never would've guessed." He turned his back to Naruto and laughed heartily, Naruto sweatdropping like crazy. '_I really do think insanity runs in their family..._' Itachi turned, a full out glare placed on Naruto. "I heard that!"

"B... but I didn't say anything..." Itachi blinked but chuckled, scratching his chin. "Must've been my conscious then..." Naruo stared at him bluntly. "Are you sure you even have one?" Itachi stared at him but turned and walked out, leaving Naruto speechless. "Wha... what the hell?"

"He's a weirdo, s.o.b. more like it. Here's your ramen, Naru-kun." Naruto nodded and toke the bowl from Deidara, slurping it down quickly. "So, do you know how to use the Forbidden Arts?" Naruto must've done the World's best spit take at the question. Deidara laughed, slapping his knee, looking at the now wet Naruto.

"W.. wha?" Deidara smiled, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. "I asked if you know how to use the Forbidden Arts. Everyone here does; mine are Earth based. Kisame's are Water based, Zetsu's are Air based(1), Kazuku's are based on Man-made materials(2), Hiden's are based on Death, Tobi has Illusion based Arts, nobody knows who the Boss's and other guy's Arts are based on, and Itachi's Arts are based on Fire." Naruto nodded, blinking stupidly. "Odd." Deidara blinked, confused. "What is?"

"Mine are based on all the elements, though mostly centering around mixing Fire and Water, Fire and Flower, and Water and Death. I even know the Shadow Arts." Deidara's jaw dropped at the last element, Naruto thinking he might've said something wrong. "THAT IS FRIGGIN' AWESOME! C'mon! We gotta show the others you can do Shadow Arts. They'll be so awed! You know how hard it is to find someone who can do the Shadow Arts?" Naruto shook his head and Deidara continued to run down the stairs, finally stopping when he came to a large (seriously large) dining room. "HEY GUYS! THE NARUTO KID KNOWS THE SHADOW ARTS!!!!"

Everyone turned and looked at Deidara and Naruto. Itachi raised his eyebrow, looking slightly amused which meant Naruto thought he looked damned sexy. "Well, that's nice, but shouldn't we tell poor Naru-kun who everyone is?" Deidara nodded and turned to everyone patting Naruto's shoulder. "Yo, this is Naruto, still haven't figured out his last name. He knows every element, including Shadow." A man with slick silverish hair stood up, smiling softly. The first thing Naruto noticed: he was super muscular and very large. '_He could crush me like an ant!_'

"I'm Hidan, the Death Artisan." Naruto nodded slowly, staring. "Don't worry! I won't crush you or anything." Naruto, again, nodded slowly as a man that looked oddly like a shark stood up. "And I'm Kisame, the Water Artisan. Ya know, you look really tasty..." Naruto's eyes widened and thought about running to hide behind Itachi. He settled for hiding behind Deidara, causing half of them to laugh and Itachi to smile slightly. A man who wore a mask with only one peep hole stood up. "I'm Tobi, the Illusion Artisan. Touch me, and you'll be missing a hand in the morning."

"Stop messing with the poor kid." This time it was a man who's skin was two different colors spoke. He had a fly-trap like contraption around his head. "I'm Zetsu, the Air Artisan. Don't mind them, they're mostly just sadistic." Naruto groaned. "That makes me fell a lot better..." A man who's face was hooded and had a scarf around his neck looked at him, and he cringed. "I'm Kazuku, Man-made Artisan. I could rip off all your clothes without even touching you."

"HOLY SHIT! HENTAI!" Naruto shouted, pointing accusingly at Kazuku. Everyone burst out laughing, but Itachi only glared at Kazuku. "Naru-kun, why don't you come sit by me?" Naruto nodded, walking over to the chair Itachi pointed to, yawning stiffly. "So, Naruto, why don't you show use one of the Shadow moves?" Naruto looked at Hidan, who was the one that spoke. "Um, sure." Deidara and Hidan cheered while everyone else just stared. Naruto stood up, jumped onto the table, walked into the middle, and stood there, looking around quickly. He smirked and closed his eyes, mumbling softly until the whole room was covered in a blank darkness and screaming could be heard. He opened his eyes to reveal his eyes had rolled back into his head, and the screaming got louder as the windows began to rattle in their frames and priceless knick-knacks fell to the floor. Soon, spirits could be seen floating around, caressing them and cooing to them to come along. Naruto opened his mouth and spoke, those both his voice sounded odd and he lips weren't moving. "_You have seen what most people die from. You have seen the spirits of the dead, calling to you and touching you. And you have seen my Kit at his weakest point. You have also seen me... if you've been paying attention..._"

With that, Naruto slumped over the table and onto the floor, unconscious once more. Everyone looked at him then at each other. Itachi was the first to speak, eyes closed. "It seems we have misjudged him. He is more powerful than even the Empress." He stood, walking over to pick him up bridal style. "I'll take him back to the room." He opened to the door and disappeared from the others, who were looking at the damge caused, including a large burn mark in the middle of the table where the blonde stood.

(1)I just gave him air . 

(2)Man-made is anything made by a man... or woman


	2. Kapitel Zwei

Shit, I forgot the disclaimer last time... Gomen Nasai

Anywho, yo, just started... so this is my first story... I just suddenly decided on ItaNaru cuz I was bored... and I have a laptop... and I'm very much so a geek... ON WIFF CHAPPIE TWO!!!!

Disclaimer: No matter how much I want to, I DO NOT own Naruto... Masashi Kishimoto does...

Also, the 'XXXXXX' signals scene changes... . 

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"Naruto? Naruto, wake up... WAKE UP, BRAT!" Naruto woke up when he was hit on the head. He glared, rubbing his head, turning to Hidan who looked rather smug. "What?"

"Itachi told me to get you, his brother's here to retrieve you." Naruto flinched and gulped, which didn't go unnoticed Hidan. "Itachi says it's your choice. But he needs you down there." Naruto nodded, slipping from the bed and followed Hidan out the door. Naruto stared at the double doors were he heard both Sasuke and Itachi, but Itachi's voice was more soothing to him. "Go on..." Naruto looked at Hidan and nodded, slowly walking through the double doors. "Itachi-san?"

Itachi and Sasuke looked up at Naruto, who stood timidly at the door. "Ah, Naru-kun, c'mon in." Naruto nodded and walked into the room sitting on a chair away from both of them. "Now, Naruto, I'm gonna need you to make a decision, okay?" Naruto nodded, staring at his hands. "Now, Sasuke, dear brother, you make your proposal." Naruto flinched visibly to the name. "Naruto, I want you to come back. It's... lonely without you." Naruto furrowed his eyebrows, catching the evil gleam in his eyes. "Now, what do you sa-?"

"No." Both Sasuke and Itachi blinked, looking incredously at him. "You'll exploit me, won't you? Beat me, make me feel miserable. I know your sadistic ways, Sasuke." Itachi blinked twice but Sasuke glared. "You fucking brat! I come to bring you back and you refuse!?" Naruto twiddled his thumbs, looking at his hands sadly. "I... I want to stay with Itachi-san..." Sasuke blinked and turned to Itachi who looked rather smug. "W... wha? Are you high!?"

"No, I'm rather fine. I just like it better here." Sasuke glared, grabbing Naruto's wrist roughly. "You're coming," Sasuke growled out to the blonde as he began to drag him away. Itachi stood there until he saw the pleading look in Naruto's eyes as he hung his head in defeat. Itachi reached out to grab Naruto, successfully pulling him from his younger brother. Sasuke blinked and looked behind him, glaring at Itachi who was holding Naruto protectivly to his chest. "Aniki, this is none of your concern. Hand over Naruto."

"And what if I said 'no?" Itachi smirked when Sasuke gaped. But, Sasuke being the stubborn s.o.b. he is, grabbed Naruto, successfully ripping him from 'Aniki's' arms, and ran off, throwing Naruto over his shoulder. "Dammit, Sasuke, get back here!" Itachi groaned when he heard the door slam. "Don't worry, Naru-kun... HIDAN!"

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"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!? My brother of all people!" Naruto looked nervously at the spot on the wall. "He svaed me when you kicked me out. I fell through the ice..." Sasuke glared and backhanded him. "That is no excuse! He could've killed you!"

"Which is no different then what you're about to do to me," Naruto whispered painfully, ignoring the red mark on his face. Sasuke growled and kicked him hard in the gut, knocking him off the bed and onto the floor, but he got pissed when Naruto didn't even whimper. "So, why'd you want me back?" Sasuke blinked, arm raised as he was about to punch him. "Wha?"

"Why'd you bring me back if you'd only kill me? Was it resentment? Or the fact your brother was closer to me than you were?" At that, Naruto smirked, obviously hitting a nerve when Sasuke tensed. "Now, I'll just wait on all my _friends _to come save me," Naruto laughed softly, looking at the floor sadly. "They're better friends than you, or Sakura, or even Lee and I've only known them a day." Naruto looked up at Sasuke somewhat evilly, spitting on his face. "And they'll kick your ass!" Sasuke wiped the saliva from his face, turned and gave Naruto the infamous Uchiha glare.

"**_BROTHER! WE'RE HERE!!!!_**" Sasuke blinked at the extremely loud voice of his aniki. "Holy... Is he really that P.O.ed?" Sasuke turned to the door as both Hidan and Deidara jumped through, crashing through the door and landing on Sasuke, looking very pleased with themsleves. Naruto smiled at them. "Aww, Naru-chan couldn't fight off big, ole Sasuke?" Naruto kicked Deidara across the room. "Not helping!" Finally, Itachi came in, looking both extremely awesome and utterly sexy. He had an evil grin on his face, cigarette hanging from his mouth and sunglasses. His hair was let loose, almost swirling around him. He had on a long-sleeved black shirt underneathe a black, sleeveless leather jacket, and tight leather pants. His boots ran up almost to his knees and had buckles all over them. He had a large gun in his hand, tapping it lightly against his shoulder.

Naruto's jaw dropped in absolute awe. "Woah..." Itachi smirked, turning to Sasuke. "Commence Stage Two: BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF LITTLE BROTHER!" He laughed menically as everyone cracked their knuckles, wrists, necks, etc. Sasuke gulped loudly at all the evil smirks that surrounded him. "Shit..." "GET 'EM, MY BRETHREN!" At that, all of them, except Itachi and Naruto, jumped at Sasuke to beat the living shit out of him. Itachi smirked rather evilly before turning to Naruto who was still staring at him. "Like what you see, ne?" Itachi fell backward when a book was thrown at his head.

"HENTAI!" Itachi sat up, rubbing his head. "Aww, Naru-kun, must you be so mean?" Naruto flipped him off. "Go fuck yourself."

"I'd rather fuck you..."

"..."

"..."

"NO COMMENT!" Naruto said rather loudly as he stood up. Itachi smirked at the blush that graced his face. "Itachi, stop being a pedophile! I think we're done with Sasuke." He looked over and saw his little brother unconscious and black, blue, and red all over. "Ne, ne, that should be fine." Itachi smirked and looked back at Naruto who had fallen back asleep. Itachi blinked, but smiled softly as he picked him up bridal style, signaling to move out. He stood there for a few minutes, staring at the blonde in his arms, smiling gently at him before he eventually jumped out the window and ran back home.

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Naruto awoke to the sound of someone calling out to him gently. "Augh, fi'e 'ore 'inubes... " he mumbled incoherently. "Aww, Naru-kun, don't you wanna talk to me?" Naruto opened one eye to see Itachi looking at him innocently. "Honestly? No, I'm waaaay too tired." Itachi blinked but gave him a pouting look. "Pwease?" Naruto blinked and put his face into the pillow and mumbled something. "What was that?"

"I said you're lucky you're cute when you pout..." Itachi smirked as Naruto sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. It was then both noticed noticed he was stark naked. "HOLY SHIT!" Itachi stared, feeling a nosebleed come on and was practically drooling on himself. Naruto finally noticed Itachi staring and blushed brighter, wrapping the blanket around him. "YOU ARE A PEDOPHILE!!!" Itachi merely smirked as Naruto kicked him out of the room.

"Iiiiitaaaaachiiiii, what'd you do?" He looked up to Deidara, holding his nose. "Um..." Itachi smiled brightly, scaring Deidara shitless. "I just saw Naru-kun naked!" The whole area went silent before the door slammed open, hitting Itachi head on. Deidara blinked but laughed loudly, pointing at Itachi as Naruto stormed by. Yes, things were going to be different with Naruto residing with a pedophile (1), another perverted Artisan, a blonde-haired-fashion-obsessed-Artisan, one that looked like Fabio, one who looked like good and evil clashing together, one who probably hated him, one that looked like a fish and scared him shitless, and two he'd never met.

Life here looked long and hard.

(1)I really just like giving Itachi a hard time. xD I'm a sadist, okay? .


	3. Kapitel Drei

Hey, me again... only three days (or more... but only a few) and my story is on two people's favorite lists!

So far, I've had a comment say that they liked the one saying from my second chappie, where Itachi comes in to save the day! Well, I'd figure you would like reading that as much as I enjoyed writing it. Well, on wiff it!

Disclaimer: Nope, no own Naruto. If I did, Orochimaru would screwed Sasuke in the Forest of Death and Sakura and Ino would DIE!!!

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Kapitel Drei

(Chapter 3)

"NO! I don't want to do this!"

"Shut up! You'll wake everyone else up!"

"Then get out! Hey! Leave my clothes alone! I don't wanna get undressed!"

"I said shut up! And everyone's taking a bath today, whether they like it or not!

Itachi dropped Naruto into the bathtub, smirking as the blonde tried to hide himself in the water. "Gawd, you're so cute..." Naruto blushed and threw the bar of soap at Itachi's head. "Pedophile..." he muttered crossly until he felt someone slip into the bath behind him. "Eh?! The fuck!?" Itachi smirked behind him, clearly amused. "THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" Itachi stared at him bluntly. "Isn't obvious? I'm gonna help you bathe seeing as though you look incapable of doing so yourself..." Naruto looked back and stuck out his tongue, until he saw the bubble. He blinked and swatted at it, but missed. He glared and swat at it again, missing again. "Effin' bubble!" Itachi raised an eyebrow as he watched the distressed the blonde swat at a bubble.

He reached out and placed his hand under the bubble, catching it carefully. Naruto stared at him as he brought his back down and held it infront of him. "Go ahead. Kill the sadistic bubble." Naruto blinked but pounced his arm, dragging them both over the edge of the tub. Naruto sat there, laughing like the child and swatting at every bubble that passed by him. Itachi groaned, rubbing his head and seething. "Nar-!" He stopped when he saw Naruto playing childishly in the bubbles that had flown over onto the floor. He blinked but smiled softly, unable to stay angry at the childish teen(1).

"C'mon, Naru-kun. We gotta dry you o-." Itachi was stopped midsentence when a bar of soap was thrown at him. "THE FUCK!?" Naruto glared, but looked down at his lap sadly. "G-gomen nasai... It's just, I'm pretty sure I can dry myself off..." Itachi whimpered internally, but just waved his hand. "Sure. Just... don't throw soap at me next time... 'kay?" Naruto just blinked and fainted. Itachi stared wide-eyed at the boy. "N-Naru-kun?" Itachi stared at him bluntly, sweatdropping like crazy. "Well... that was interesting..." Itachi groaned and picked him up, setting him on the stool so he could at least dry his hair. "Hey, Naru-kun, wake up..."

"Huh?" Naruto looked around groggily, blinking. "You said you wanted to dry yourself, ne?" Naruto nodded, noticing he was wrapped in a towel. "Well, I didn't dry you off seeing as you have some independence. So, you can just borrow whatever clothes you want, just not from Kisame or Tobi, 'kay?" Naruto nodded and watched him walk away, finally standing to dry himself. With the towel wrapped around his waist, he opened the door to Itachi's closet and nearly fainted. His closet was freakin' HUGE! "Well, at least I won't have trouble finding clothes..."

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"I'm huuuuungrryyyyyy, Itachiiiiiii-saaaaaan." Itachi looked up from the paperwork and nearly fainted from absolute shock and severe perverted thoughts at the sight of Naruto. He was wearing clothes obviously too big for him. First off, the pants were so close to falling off, you get see the rim of his boxers. Second, the shirt was so large, it was slipping of his shoulder. "Gawd, I'm such a pedophile..." Naruto blinked but gave him a 'duh' look. "And how many times have I told you that now?"

"SHUT UP!" Itachi groaned and banged his head on the desk a few times before returning to the papers, now covered in blood. "Um... Hey, can I call you Ita-nii-san?" Itachi blinked, now chewing on the end of his pen. "What?"

"Well, I get to call Deidara Dei-nii-san, and Hidan is Otuo-san, and Zetsu is Okaa-san, and-."

"Wait... Hidan is Otou-san and Zetsu is Okaa-san?" Itachi was highly confused. Naruto nodded, smiling largely. "Yeah, they said they were a married couple that adopted me. And Tobi is Onee-san 'cause I thought it'd be funny! And Kisame is Baa-san! Kazuku is Kazu-dono 'cause him says he's my master..." Itachi lost track after a moment. "The fuck?" Naruto blinked but laughed. "Gomen nasai, it's mostly a game. Just like I have a bitch!" At that, Itachi chocked on his own saliva. "N-nani?"

"It's an inside joke, but I got Haku-san to be my first bitch. Dude rakes in a lot of money." Itachi blinked. "Who's Haku?" Naruto laughed, smiling cutely. "He's the new friend I made, along with Zabu-sama. Zabu-sama is my first whoe though. Oh, and Haku-san has ben promoted to special buddy!" Itachi groaned, knowing he'd probably need meds after this. "What the hell's a 'special buddy'?" Naruto smiled larger. "A cuddle buddy!" Scratch that. Itachi has won an award for best spit take with his own spit. "WHAT!?" Naruto blinked, tapping his chin. "Well, there are three levels of 'special buddies.' First is cuddle buddy, special-special buddy is butt buddy, and special-special-special buddy is fuck buddy."

"F-Fuck buddy?!" Naruto nodded, smiling rather pleasantly. "Uh-huh. Aaaaaannnnnd, I still need someone for that category. I have a special-special buddy, but he doesn't do much. Rather lazy actually." Itachi gave him the weirdest look ever. "You have... a butt buddy?" Naruto nodded vigorously. "Naruto..."

"Hai?"

"That is the most retarded, idiotic, perverted thing I've ever had the agony of listening to." Naruto blinked but laughed hysterically. "I know! Isn't it fun!?"

"Fun? Jesus christ, they've pounded extreme stupidity into the dark, damp recesses of your mind, haven't they?" Naruto nodded for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "Yep. But I'm still hungry, Ita-nii-san!" Itachi glared at him. "I never agreed to you calling me that." Naruto poked his chin, closing one eye in thought. "How about... I make you my first and only special-special-special buddy?" Naruto cocked his head and smiled innocently, oblivious to the heavy amount of blood that ran from Itachi's nose.

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"Hello, who'ssss thiss?" Naruto stared at the weird, slightly grey man that was hissing at him. He even reminded him of a snake. "That's Naruto, Orochimaru-san." The man called Orochimaru smiled at Naruto, to which he responded by twitching his eye and jumping onto Itachi, screaming 'PEDOPHILE!' while both Itachi and Orochimaru had nosebleeds. Itachi because the completely innocent yet drop-dead-gorgeous Naruto was clinging to him and Orochimaru because he got very... um... perverted thoughts from the situation.

"You can let go now, Naru-kun..." Naruto squeezed tighter which only made all perverted thoughts worse. "But... the freaky dude with the long tongue will freakin' sexually harrass me!" And that was all they could take. Both fainted from severe blood loss. "Ita-kun? Dude with freakishly long tongue?" (He can't remember his name...) Hidan passed by and stopped in the door, pocky stick falling from his mouth. "Um... what happened?"

"I dunno. I was clinging to Itachi and accusing the other guy of being a pedohile and both fainted." There was a short pause before a groan was heard from Hidan. "Freakin' bunch of perverted pedophiles..."

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Yes, short, gomen nasai... lemme know if I make too many grammitical or spelling errors, pwease.

Danke for reading! (Danke is thank-you for those who are slow on the in-take)


	4. Kapitel Vier

Hey, how's it hangin!? I just got 16 inches o' snow in one day! xDD Also, this chappie short... . 

Dislaimer: I no own Naruto cause if I did, he be ta'kin in meh Ang'ish (My English)

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Kapitel Vier

"This is Haku, Ita-kun!" Itachi looked up at the boy Naruto was pointing at. "Naruto... isn't Haku a guy's name?"

"I am a male..." Itachi blinked when he heard the feminine voice. "Uh, you sure?" Haku nodded. "No gender confusion?" Haku shook his head. "I could show you..."

"No! I'm fine!" Itachi sighed heavily when Haku nodded and walked off. "Naruto, you are friends with some of the weirdest humans to walk the face of the earth..." Naruto nodded happily and skipped after Haku as a blur of black ran by, yelling at a blur of red. "... The fuck?" The blur of red stopped and stared at Itachi, ending up to be Deidara. "SHE STOLE ALL MY AWESOME CLOTHES!!!" Itachi blinked. "She?" Deidara nodded and started up running after 'she' again. "Since when did a freakin' girl start living here?"

"Two weeks ago." Itachi jumped and turned to glare at his little brother. "Wait... when'd you get here? AND WHEN THE HELL'D YOU FIGURE OUT WHERE I LIVE!?" Itachi smacked his brother's head in almost comical manner. "Effing stalker!" Sasuke glared, rubbing his head. "Three weeks ago after you all pummeled me and what to you think the choker on Naruto was for?" Itachi blinked again, feeling reeaaallyyy dumb right now. "Naruto's been wearing a choker?"

"You're not that observant, are you?" Itachi's eyes shifted to the left. "I'm slow today..."

"Try everyday. The girl..." Itachi looked back. "Huh?" Sasuke groaned and slapped his hand to his forehead. "The girl you asked about earlier! Her name is Xisheng." Itachi stared at him oddly. "Isn't Xisheng... a Chinese(1) name?" Sasuke nodded slowly like Itachi was stupid. "Yes. It means 'sacrifice'. Duh."

"SI'XING!!!" Itachi and Sasuke cringed at the loud voice as the black blur came tumbling in. "What's 'si'xing'?", Itachi whispered to Sasuke. "Death penalty..." Itachi gulped and looked at the girl... "THE HELL?! IS EVERYONE GENDER CONFUSED!" The girl turned and looked at Itachi, blinking. She was tall and lanky, hair cut short and spiked in all directions. She was a very flat figure with a more pointed face than normal. She also wore baggy, male's clothes that looked to belong to Deidara. "She'i?" Itachi blinked. "She asked 'who?'." Itachi waved his arm wildly. "YOU!"

"Wo?" Sasuke groaned. "Me?" Itachi nodded vigorously. "Aniki, I think you're the only who doesn't know Chinese." Itachi glared. "Well, someone's apparently gonna hafta teach me, aren't they!?" Xisheng looked at Naruto when he walked in, smiled, and pointed at Itachi, almost yelling, "Er fu?" Sasuke and Naruto snapped their heads to her, staring with almost scared looks on their faces. "The fuck? What'd she say?"

"She asked if you were my husband..." Naruto said, eye twitching slightly. "Ni hao! Wo Xisheng. Hao lei a!" Itachi's eye twitched. "Translation please!" Naruto sighed. "Hello! I am Xisheng. I'm really tired!"

"Then get her to a room before I go insane! Mind sleeping in a guy's room?" She blinked. "You bu..."

"She said not at all..." But Deidara jumped in and tackled her. "GAN MA!!!" Sasuke and Naruto spoke at the same time. "WHAT THE HELL!... That was a translation of what she said..." Itachi nodded as Deidara cackled and was pulled from her, Sasuke dragging her upstairs to let her sleep.

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"Good morning! Everyone good?" They all loked at Xisheng who stood smiling brightly while they all felt like they had hangovers. "No...", they all answered simontaneously. She blinked and tapped her chin. "What is problem?" Itachi groaned and tilted his head over the back of the chair. "We all feel like we have hangovers!"

"Xisheng can fix!" They all jumped upright and looked at her. "Really!?" Deidara shouted before anyone else could. "Yes. Xisheng was medic apprentice." They all stared at her. "Xisheng help?" They all nodded vigorously as she skipped off, humming a Chinese melody. "Well, that's a relief..." They waited for ten minutes before an explosion was heard. "W-what the hell...?" Itachi's eye twitched as she walked out, coughing and covered in some weird red powder, carrying a tray of cups. "Xisheng messed up cooking place. She sorry." Itachi nodded as she placed a cup infront of him, red and blue swirling around each other. "Um... what exactly is this?"

"Drink. It help. You no drink she tell you..." They nodded and chugged it, slamming the cups onto the table and falling over to the floor, all of them either slightly green, or a dazed look in their eyes. "Hmm... Drink worked. Xisheng made wrong... Should made you boom!" She laughed as she cleared the table and walked off.

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(1)- China is a country, yes, but in the story, it's a province of Konoha no Kuni


	5. Kapitel Funf

Short... again... Meh

Disclaimer: For the last time, I don't own Naruto... but I would kill for it...

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Kapitel Funf

"Iiiiiiitaaaachiiiii..." Itachi growled softly and looked up at Naruto, eye twitching severely. "Naruto... you're awesome and all... BUT STOP WHINING LIKE A FREAKIN' GIRL!" Naruto blinked stupidly before jumping up and down, squealing which ticked Itachi off more. "Yay! You called me awesome!"

"You're acting like a girl... because I happened to say... you were awesome?" Naruto nodded vigorously. "Do you happen to like unicorns and daydream about men?" Naruto tapped his chin. "Unicorns, no. Men, HELL YEAH!!" Naruto kicked the air, dancing some until Itachi threw his pencil at his head. "Would you shut up!?" Naruto pouted, sticking his lower lip out. "You're no fun..." Itachi raised an eyebrow, giving him a 'Duh!' look when Xisheng come bounding in on all fours, tackling Naruto and jumping under Itachi's desk. "Save Xisheng!"

"What do you mean sa-!?" Deidara came running in, glaring angirily and with his hair dyed pink, it wasn't very threatening. "Where is she, the little bitch!?" Naruto had fallen over, laughing like a maniac, and Itach was trying his hardest not to laugh. "W-what happened... D-deidara?" Deidara's eye twitched and he grabbed a fistful of his hair. "This is what happened! That whench put fucking dye in my shampoo!" Naruto laughed harder, if even possible. "You think!? It's probably why it's pink!" Itachi finally caved in and laughed his ass off.

"The fuck?" Everyone turned to the door where Sasuke stood, yawning and his hair in all directions like he just woke up... or just had hours of... nevermind... "ITACHI!!!" Naruto screamed, pointed to Saskue and silently screamed and jumped onto Itachi, dragging them both downward. Everyone blinked except Sasuke who was mentally screaming and fainted. Naruto had somehow flipped postions when they fell, landing under Itachi, who was straddling his hips. Also, they had somehow managed to lock lips at some point.

'_Damn it, Naruto! This is exactly what I was trying to prevent!'_

_"**Um, who the Hell is speaking to me?**"_

_'This is Kyuubi, the Nine-Tailed Fox Demon that resides in your body... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! groan'_

_"**Not my fault! It's Sasuke's for showing up like that... Damn him...**"_

_'Shut up, your voice is annoying. Also, Itachi is trying to get your attention...'_

"Naruto? Are you okay?" Naruto blinked and sat up, fingering his lips softly. "Did... uh... did that really happen?" Itachi looked to the right, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah..." Naruto blushed a bright red, stood abruptly, and walked out, heading upstairs and into his room. "Okay... what just happened?"

"Naruto does that when he's confused about his feelings at a particular moment and will stay there from an hour to two whole weeks, never once eating unless it's brought to him." Everyone turned to Sasuke, who was scratching his cheek. "Oh. My. God. Sasuke actually paid attention to Naruto at one point." Sasuke shot a glare at Zetsu and flipped him off. "Which, in other words, means he may possibly love you, Aniki." Itachi blinked. "Really?" Sasuke nodded and eveyone jumped when Itachi punched the air, yelling 'YES!' at the top of his lungs.

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_'Well, do you, Kit?'_

_"**I dunno... and would you shut up with the 'Kit' thing!**"_

_'No. You are my Kit... I, um, kind of... slept with your father...'_

_""_

_'Naruto? Are you okay?'_

_"**Holy shit! What was my dad like!?**"_

_'Um... would you believe me if I said he was the Fourth Hokage?'_

_"**Are you fucking serious!? That is so awesome!**"_

_'... Why didn't I see that coming?'_

_"**Cause you're slow and you're my Mom... Dad... whatever...**"_

_'... Shut up... Itachi's calling for you...'_

Naruto jumped at the door, falling as he opened it and landing at Itachi's feet. "Suddenly fallen for me?" Naruto shot a glare to Itachi, who was smiling innocently. Naruto stood up, brushing off his pants as Itachi walked by, flopping onto Naruto's bed. 'W-what are you doing!?"

"Visiting the person dear to me, why? Is it wrong for me to do such a thing?" Naruto blinked and looked away, blushing softly. "No... I suppose not..." Itachi smirked, enjoying this moment highly and would probably use it as blackmail later. "Ita... Itachi?" Itachi blinked, staring at a Naruto most unlike the normal one. Naruto was staring at his hands timidly, twiddling his thumbs and had a highly uncomfortable look on his face. 'Wha... what would you do... if I said... I love you...?"

Itachi stared at him incrediously, thoughts of right and wrong running through his head. But, this is Itachi we're talking about: he didn't care if it was wrong, damn it! He wanted the other so badly, it was hard to keep it from him everyday. So, Itachi stood up and walked over to Naruto, lifting his head softly with his finger and thumb. "I-Itachi?" Itachi smiled softly, pressing his lips against Naruto's, deepening the kiss when Naruto started to respond. After a little while, Itachi slowly pulled away, hugging Naruto close to him and whispering softly in his ear, "That's what I'd do..." Naruto smiled and snuggled into the other, ignoring what the Kyuubi said over and over...

_'Damn it, Naruto! You've made a mistake!'_

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There ya go... Hope ya enjoyed...


	6. Kapitel Sechs

Gah! Es tut mir Leid! I haven't updated in forever!

Geez...

Disclaimer: I don't, unfortunately, own Naruto...

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Kapitel Sechs

_'Naruto, wake up you damned idiot...'_

_"__**Huh? Why do you tell me I'm an idiot when I'm your child? Not good for my self-esteem...**__"_

_'Just wake up... and you are... you chose to be with Itachi...'_

Naruto blinked and sat up slowly in the bed, yawning loudly and stretching until his back popped. Naruto looked around and groaned. "Kyuubi, why didn't you tell me I had summoned you?"

"That's Dad to you!!" Kyuubi hit him on the head, growling oddly. "Evil... bastard..." Naruto rubbed his head, glaring at him. "Wouldn't you be more like my mom?" He was hit again. "DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING GIRL!?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure the Fourth wasn't neccesarily a female either..." Naruto slipped off the bed and landed with a soft 'thump' onto the floor, snoring again. Kyuubi growled and cracked his knuckles, glaring at him evilly. "WAKE UP, DAMN IT!!" He kicked Naruto across the room and laughed as he hit the wall, screaming. "Naru-kun, what are you doing in here?" Kyuubi and Naruto looked to the door where Itachi stood, looking as though he had just awoken. "ITA-KUN!!! KYUUBI'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!"

"I AM NOT, YOU LITTLE PUNK!!" Itachi blinked and looked from Naruto to Kyuubi and back. "Explain."

"This is Kyuubi, my mom-slash-dad-slash-demon who I had accidentally summoned and was trying to kill me..." Kyuubi glared at him. "I was not trying to kill you." Itachi turned and began to bang his head on the doorway. Kyuubi laughed evilly while Naruto whimpered. "KILL YOURSELF!! GO FOR IT!!" Both Naruto and Itachi threw something at Kyuubi, knocking him out. Itachi groaned and walked out the door. "This is why I am not a morning person..."

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Kyuubi poked at the food in front of him. "What the hell is this!? Where's the raw meat and uncooked eggs!?"

"I'm gonna pretend you never said that and ignore you..." Kyuubi sent a glare at Itachi who sent one right back. Deidara leaned towards Naruto. "They don't like each other... do they?" Naruto shook his head. "Kyuubi's just my over protective Mom and hates Itachi for some odd reason and Itachi just hates him."

"Wait. Kyuubi... is your Mom? Is he gender confused?"

"Absolutely." Kyuubi glared at Naruto and threw a cup at his head. "WOULD YOU STOP THROWING THINGS AT ME!? I'M YOUR CHILD, FER CHRIST'S SAKES!!"

"Then stop acting like your father and calm your ass down." Naruto huffed but laughed when Itachi threw a chair at Kyuubi. "DON'T HURT MY NARU-CHAN!" Some point inbetween then and now, Kyuubi and Itach got into a large fight, cups and plates flying every which way. "Ita-kun, leave Mom alone. If all goes according to plan, he'll be your step-mother." Itachi blinked and looked at Naruto, horrified. "Wha!? That evil bitch!?" Kyuubi growled and walked off back to his seat, crossing his arms in a tantrum. "Ayup." Itachi and Naruto didn't notice everyone staring until they shouted, "YOU TWO ARE GETTING MARRIED!?"

Itachi blinked and laughed nervously. "I forgot to tell you all? My bad." Everyone excluding Naruto threw plates at Itachi, yelling at him. "HOW DARE YOU LEAVE US IN THE DARK!!!" Kyuubi laughed hysterically at Itachi, who was now covered in their breakfast. Itachi groaned, standing up and walking off to shower. "Yeah, well, Ita-kun and I are getting married soon, and Mom isn't too happy about it." Naruto giggled and was brutually kicked into the wall by Deidara.

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Itachi blinked dubiously when Naruto walked into into the room and placed himself in his lap. "Um, Naru-kun?" Naruto looked up innocently, tilting his head head slightly. "Hai?"

"I was reading..." Naruto looked to Itachi's hands and noticed the rather large novel. "Oh. Gomen nasai." Itachi laughed softly and kissed the top of his head. "Hmm. It's okay. But you must now do one thing." Naruto blinked, confused. "Really? What?"

"Give me a kiss." Itachi smirked arrogantly, Naruto blinking once more. "O-Okay..." Naruto blushed vividly and tilted his head upward to catch Itachi's lip, giving him a quick peck. "Tch!"

"What!?" Naruto huffed, sticking out his lower lip in a pouting manner. "You call that a kiss?" Itachi smirked again and reached over quickly, pulling Naruto even closer to him and crashing their lips together. He smiled wickedly when he caught the lower lip Naruto was sticking out only moment ago and sucked gently on it. Naruto squirmed slightly and gasped when he felt Itachi's tounge trail his lip. Itachi used this moment to slip his tongue into the other's mouth, exploring and memorizing every inch. Itachi finally pulled away, but only when both desperately needed air. "See?... That... was a kiss..."

Naruto nodded numbly (too many n's), ghosting his fingers over his lips in a dazed manner. Itachi smirked and licked him, trailing his tongue from his jawline to his temple. "EEW! That was disgusting, Ita-kun!"

"So? You tasted good and I couldn't resist." Naruto gave him a very blunt look. "You're so weird."

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Short but I dun give a fuck!!!!


	7. Kapitel Seben

Again, really short! Oh, and Kyuubi is severely OOC in this...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Happy?

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Kapitel Seben

Deidara blinked and jumped Kyuubi in the hall, Tobi and Hidan blinking dumbly. "What the hell!? Deidara, get off me!"

"But Naru-kun said I could keep you as my pet(1). You dun wanna be pampered and spoiled(2)?" With that, Deidara sniffed sadly and gave off the cutest puppy eyes ever. (I can actually see that... XD) Kyuubi's eye twitched horribly before he sighed. "Fine." Deidara squealed and grabbed the demon, pulling him into a bone crushing hug. "Let's go get all your stuff!!" He grabbed Kyuubi's wrist and disappeared, Naruto blinking as he walked up next to Hidan. "He took what I said seriously, didn't he?"

"Yup."

"He's one fucked up individual. I can't believe he's actually gunna keep Kyuubi as his pet..." There was along silence before Hidan, Tobi, and Naruto yelled, "EWW!"

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Itachi stared dumbly across the table, as did everyone else except Deidara, Kyuubi, and Naruto.

Right there...

In front of them...

Was the almighty Kyuubi...

In a maid's dress with a collar that had a bell and was tied in the back by a large bow.

"Um... Deidara... why's Kyuubi dressed as such?"

Deidara looked up at Itachi, to Kyuubi, and back. "He's my pet."

Itachi's eyes grew to the size of saucers as he looked to Kyuubi, who didn't seem to mind. In fact, he looked rather content. "So, um... how's he taking it?"

"Ask him, not me. He may be my pet, but I can't read his mind." Itachi gulped and looked to Kyuubi, who was glaring. "How do you like being a pet, Kyuubi-san?" Kyuubi smirked at the honorific, glad he had made an eternal impression on the younger male. "I like it. Deidara really likes spoiling his pets."

Deidara nodded to the statement and went back to eating, handing Kyuubi a recently killed bird. "There's a fresh horse outside when you finish that, Kyuu-kun." Kyuubi grew a sadistic smirk, not even really caring too much about the nickname. "See? He spoils." Naruto laughed, as did Deidara but everyone else gawked. "Glad to know you like being Deidara's pet, Okaa-san." Kyuubi snapped his head upward. "What did you call me?"

"But Dei-nii-san can call you Kyuu-kun! Why can't your own son call you Okaa-san?" Kyuubi threw the bird at Naruto, hitting his eye. "Because to you, I am Otou-san!" Naruto groaned, glaring at the bird corpse. "That confuses me because the Fourth definitely wasn't female." Kyuubi's eye twitched. "You little..." He goes to lunge at Naruto but is stopped by Deidara. "I'll take the horse back."

"Nyuu! Gomen nasai, Deidara-dono! Please don't take away the horse!" Kyuubi whined like a wounded dog and nuzzled Deidara's hand causing everyone, including Deidara, to stare at the demon in absolute shock. "Um... okay, I'll keep i-!" He was cut off when Kyuubi tackled him, rubbing his cheek against Deidara's. "Yay! Thank you!"

Everyone was now officially scarred for life at the Kyuubi's... new... attitude.

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"Um... Otou-san?"

"Yes, Naru-kun?"

"Do you really like Deidara that much?" Kyuubi looked up at Naruto like he had grown an extra head. "Wha-!?"

"Well, you seem rather close to him and all. I was just wondering because if you really do..." Naruto smiled brightly here, making Kyuubi cringe slightly. "I say go for it!"

Kyuubi glared and lunged at Naruto, tackling him to the floor and snarling. The two wrestled with each other for several minutes, causing several bruises, some broken bones, and blood. Itachi and Deidara (Oh, the irony...) ran in and pulled them apart, Itachi with Naruto and Deidara with Kyuubi. "Naruto, what the fuck are you two doing!?" Naruto growled and tried to lunge at Kyuubi but he was held back as was Kyuubi who tried to attempt the same thing.

"Stop it! You're both acting like a bunch of heathens!" Kyuubi growled at Deidara, turning to snarl at Naruto one last time as he was dragged away, hissing and snapping.

"Kyuu-kun, why did you two start fighting?" Kyuubi glared at the door before shrugging tensely. "He pissed me off." Deidara groaned and plopped down in an armchair Kyuubi hadn't noticed before, still holding Kyuubi and rested his chin on his head. "That's not a very good reason. He is your son which only makes it worse. What did he say that made you so mad?"

"Nothing." Kyuubi was feeling rather stubborn and he let it show. Deidara rolled his eyes and stood up, setting Kyuubi on the floor. "Whatever. If you're in a shitty mood, then I'm not going to mess with you. Come get me when you feel like cooperating with everyone." Before Kyuubi could argue, Deidara kissed his cheek and walked off. Kyuubi blinked and, without realizing it, blushed bright red. "W-What was that...?"

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Deidara blinked and looked to the left where the door opened and closed, but saw no one. But shortly after, he felt someone climb into his lap and curl up. "So, you feeling better, Kyuu-kun?"

"Hai." Deidara smiled and pat his head. "Good. You were acting like a real bitch."

"Hey!" Deidara laughed and set up Kyuubi so he was sitting before hugging him tightly. "I was just playing. I didn't mean to offend you." Kyuubi squeaked oddly. "Hmm? Is something wrong?"

"N-No." Kyuubi stuttered and that struck Deidara as odd so he pulled away to see Kyuubi blushing brightly. "Aww, how cute. Kyuu-kun likes me, doesn't he?" Kyuubi squeaked again but nodded hesitantly. Deidara smiled brightly and kissed him softly, holding him tightly again. "That's nice to know because I like you too." Kyuubi blinked but snuggled against him, listening to his heartbeat in a content silence.

"Do you think Naruto would be pissed?" It was Deidara that broke the serene silence. "No, just shocked but his dumb ass will get over it."

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1 & 2: This is based off an RP I did with a friend a few weeks ago... XD Dei-nii-san is such a pet spoiler...

Anywho... R&R?


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